Dark Side of The Moon
by AWildeRomantic
Summary: SG1 isn't as perfect as everyone would like to think. Three men and a woman working so close tend to develop certain imperfections not visible to those on the outside. But those are the imperfections that threaten to tear them apart. More inside.
1. Don't Fret, Precious

A/N – Few things to say about this one…First of all, staying up late talking about Stargate with your best friend can lead to some wacko ideas being thrown around. Turn on the song "Pet" (Aka "count bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drums") by A Perfect Circle and you get a story like this one. So here's my attempt at exploring the darker side of Samantha Carter. I want it to turn out emotionally charged, thought provoking, and hopefully more than a little disturbing. ;)

On the note of pairings…Pretty much this story has it all. Ultimately it will be just regular old Jack/Sam, but on the way to becoming that it has a bit of femmeslash and slash, both implied and actually there…though some of its just buddy fucking. I'll try to warn you at the beginning of each chapter.

* * *

Chapter 1: Don't Fret, Precious

It was the first time they'd been off world in what felt like months, but was probably only weeks. Sam knew she had enough crap in her lab to keep her occupied on base as long as needed, but she also knew that her teammates, Jack in particular, didn't. And so they all relished the chance to get out of the dank, underground complex and go somewhere that wasn't the local bar and grill.

In fact, P49-936 was about as far from a bar and grill as it was possible to get. The various probes had returned no signs of a current civilization, though after a five minute walk from the Stargate, SG-1 found themselves in what Jack described as a big pile of rocks and what Daniel described as the archaeological find of the year. So the bespectacled archaeologist was off in a flash to take rubbings of one of the pillars.

Having nothing better to do, Sam whipped out one of the sensors from her backpack and switched it on. She was surprised when the needle jumped. "Sir, I'm picking up an energy reading from…" She looked up, then pointed to the center of the ruins where a large building was still intact, for the most part. "There."

"Go check it out, Carter," Jack said, nodding. "Teal'c go with her. I'll secure the perimeter and make sure Danny-boy doesn't get into any trouble."

Sam nodded and started off towards the building, the large form of the Jaffa close on her heels. She was severely disappointed to find the only entrance to the building sealed off by a formidable hunk of stone, engraved with lines of writing that looked more like a child's doodles to Sam, but that Daniel would probably be able to translate fast as all get out.

Sam held the sensor against the door, watching as the needle pushed the upper limits of the register. She let out a sigh and pushed fruitlessly against the door.

"Teal'c, give me a hand."

The Jaffa set his staff weapon aside and they both pushed and shoved, though nothing happened except a small shower of dust and stone chips fell on their heads. Sam pulled out her radio and told Jack and Daniel they needed help.

Ten minutes of watching Daniel translate what was written on the door and Teal'c gave up being patient and went off to look for something to raise his eyebrow at. Sam and Jack sat down on a large piece of stone and pulled out water canteens and sandwiches.

"So what do you think is in there that needed to be sealed up so bad?" Jack asked.

"Advanced technology." Sam took a swig of water. "Some old goa'uld laboratory maybe. Or an Ancient one, if we're lucky."

"We usually are." Jack thought about that one for a moment. "When it comes to saving the world though. We do that more often then find technology."

"SG-1, guardians of the planet," Sam muttered.

"We'd be on the cover of _TIME_ if it weren't for the whole confidentiality thing," Jack said, taking his baseball cap off and running his fingers through his hair. "We'd be regular celebrities." He replaced the cap and carefully used both hands to shape the brim, then looked at Sam from behind his dark sunglasses.

"Good thing the confidentiality's there," Sam replied. She was glad they weren't celebrities. The last thing they needed was to have their private lives splashed out across the cover of tabloids. General Hammond might like to think that his flagship team was the perfect military operation, abiding by all the rules and only wanting to serve their planet, but Sam knew better. Daniel knew better; Teal'c acted fairly naïve when it came to these things, but he knew better also. And Jack most definitely knew better.

Sam poured some of the water from her canteen into her hand and splashed it over her face. The planet's sun was high in the sky and the air was warm. She was glad she'd remembered to use sunscreen.

Hell, even Janet knew they were far from perfect. The petite doctor wouldn't make a bad psychologist; she could read people as well as she read medical files. Even if she and Sam didn't spend so many late nights talking about the lives of their co-workers Janet would probably have been able to guess most of it.

They were like a couple of high-school girls sometimes, and that made Sam want to laugh.

"Got it." Daniel plopped down on the ground in front of Jack and Sam, waving his open notebook at of them. "There's some sort of lab in there, I think. But whoever sealed it up seems to think that the knowledge is too powerful for any one person to know. It'll take a while to break in."

"Good thing we packed our tents then," Jack stood up, stretching and wincing as his knees popped. "You two wait here, I'll go check in with Hammond." Jack pulled out his radio. "T, looks like we'll be spending the night. Start looking for a good campsite."

"Very well, O'Neill." Came Teal'c's reply.

Jack turned and started walking back to the Stargate to contact Hammond. Sam watched him leave. Daniel was absorbed in his notes and Teal'c was still nowhere to be seen, so Sam took advantage of this to stare at her CO's ass until he vanished behind a clump of trees. Then she had to turn back and listen to Daniel explain in detail what was written on the door.

* * *

If the daytime had been hot, then the night was warm. Sometimes they'd go to a planet with two suns and an afternoon heat like the Sahara desert, but nighttime temperatures that reminded Sam of the time she and Jack were stuck in Antarctica. Luckily this wasn't one of them. 

They set up camp. There wasn't anything that could really be called a clearing, so the two tents had a stand of trees between them. They lit a campfire, though more to provide some light and to keep bugs away then anything else. Worse than the warmth, the night was humid. Sam swore that if she rubbed her fingers together she could feel condensation between them.

Daniel let out a loud sneeze.

"That's it!" Jack said suddenly. "No way am I sleeping with Danny tonight."

"It's the humidity," Daniel complained stuffily.

"And you're going to be snoring!" Jack tossed an empty MRE wrapper into the fire. "Which means you can share a tent with T, cus he doesn't sleep anyway."

Teal'c raised an eyebrow, but obviously knew better than to argue with Jack about sleeping arraignments. Jack rounded on Sam.

"Unless Carter's got some objection, in which case one of us can sleep outside."

Sam shook her head. She'd shared a tent with each of her teammates at one point or another and had gotten over being bothered by it. Hell, work with three people for almost six years and sleeping with them is the most chaste thing imaginable. And besides, though the three men had more sense than to mention it, Sam was positive they'd all seen her naked at least once. Private showers weren't always an option and sometimes all they had was a waterfall.

Jack always had to stay up for a while after the fire was put out to watch the stars, but Sam immediately went into their tent and lay on her side on top of her sleeping bag, one arm tucked under her head. The only sound she could hear was the chirruping of nighttime insects and the occasional grunting snore from the other tent that was a hundred feet away.

Finally she heard footsteps, then Jack pushed back the tent flap and climbed in, flopping down next to Sam and sighing heavily.

"You asleep, Carter?"

"No." An animal moved in the underbrush near their tent, disturbing the sleep of some winged creature that took off with a loud flapping noise.

"What was that?" Jack propped himself up on his elbows, eyes squinting in the dark. The first of the planet's moons had risen, but all that did was turn everything into thick dark silhouettes.

Sam murmured, "Probably just a bird, Sir."

Jack lay down, but a moment later began shifting around. Sam half turned her head and saw him wrestling out of his jacket. "It's too fucking hot," he growled by way of an explanation. Laying back down he threw one arm out, accidentally brushing his hand along Sam's back and causing her to shiver. "Sorry."

"It's ok."

She felt his hand again, running gently down her back. It wasn't an accident this time. She heard Jack roll over onto his side, mimicking her and tucking his left arm under his head, his free hand caressing languidly up and down her back. Sam knew what he was doing; it was a game they played – see how far they could push each other without actually going over.

Of course, sometimes, they did go over.

Jack's hand moved to her side now and Sam jerked as his fingers brushed a particularly ticklish spot. His arm came around her middle then and pulled her close to him. Sam opened her mouth to say something, then decided against it, pushing her back flush against Jack's chest as his hand flattened against her stomach.

_I need this._ Sam thought reluctantly as Jack's hand slipped under the hem of her shirt, his fingers lightly stroking the skin of her stomach. The last mission, a couple weeks ago, wasn't overnight and she knew Jack would never pull something like this on base. It was like a drug, this wanting, this desire that the officials in Washington thought they could control with all their regulations and the security cameras that were everywhere in the Cheyenne Mountain Complex.

But there weren't cameras off-world, and if she couldn't get caught, it was okay to get high off her own personal opiate.

Jack's other arm slipped underneath her, wrapping around her. His hand that had a moment ago been stroking her stomach moved upwards. "…Too fucking hot…" he grunted.

"What is?" Sam moved her hand behind her, letting it rest on Jack's thigh.

"You." Jack's lips were on her neck now, kissing the soft skin as his hands moved to gently massage her breasts. Sam let out a low moan.

"...Pushing me!" She managed to gasp out.

Jack's hips gave a lazy thrust as though to prove to her that yes, he was pushing her, and also to show how much he needed her. Sam's fingers tightened on his thigh and she hissed sharply; she could sense his arousal in more ways than one and it was driving her crazy.

"Shit…I give up…" Jack moved suddenly, pulling Sam onto her back and beneath him. His lips came crashing down, hot and heavy against hers. Their mouths opened against each other, tongues pushing and tasting while hands moved down to push pants out of the way.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Sam realized that screwing your commanding officer in the middle of the forest on an abandoned alien planet wasn't exactly a bright idea, especially if your teammates were sleeping well within hearing distance. The thought actually made it as far as her lips.

"Sir…"

"Carter." His voice was gruff and full of the same desire that Sam felt pulsing through her own veins. She needed this. He needed this. They both needed the kind of release that only this could give them.

And, goddamn, her name sounded so sexy when he said it like that. Their lips came together again, and Jack's fingers hooked around the waistband of her underwear, tugging it gently downwards.

* * *

For the fifth time that morning, Daniel shot Jack a glare out of the corner of his eye and huffed angrily. Jack couldn't stand it anymore and tore his gaze away from Sam and Teal'c, who were busy trying to blast the door of the temple down, and looked at Daniel. 

"Ok, Danny, what's with the huffing and puffing?"

Daniel's eyes narrowed. "Nothing."

"Right, and you're the big bad wolf." Jack said, his voice dripping with its usual sarcasm. "Seriously. You've been shooting me dirty looks all morning."

"I think you know why I'm a little annoyed, Jack."

Jack raised his eyebrows. "A little annoyed? So that's what you call it?"

"Jack." Daniel tossed his notebook and pencil down, rounding on Jack with his hands on his hips. "We're supposed to be a team, right? And team members tell each other things. Especially if you've been working together for what? Six years now?"

Jack gave Daniel a calculating look. "There's plenty of stuff we don't tell each other and you know it."

"Exactly. Maybe we should tell each other things. Like…maybe you should tell me what's going on with you and Sam."

"Carter?"

"Yes, Sam Carter!" Daniel looked severely annoyed.

Jack wondered what this was about. If it was about Sam, or if it was about Daniel being jealous for some reason. Maybe it was all he said and he just thought he should know everything about Jack's life. SG-1 was like a family, after all. _One big, incestuous family…_ Jack thought bitterly.

"You don't ever think about anyone except yourself, do you?" Daniel really was pissed, and Jack just couldn't figure it out.

"No," Jack decided to stick to humor. "Obviously, I was thinking about Carter last night." Whoops, that was not what he'd meant to have come out of his mouth. Honestly.

Daniel made a move towards Jack as though he was about to punch him, and Jack actually sidestepped a little. Instead, Daniel just scowled and muttered, "You're such an arrogant bastard sometimes." Shaking his head, he turned and stalked away towards Sam and Teal'c.

* * *

A/N - Please read and review! I'd love to hear what you like/dislike about the story so i can make it better . And of course, keep all criticism polite and constructive, please :) thanky.  



	2. Lay Your Head Down, Child

A/N – A brief "warning", as promised. This chapter has a dash of femmeslash in it, and more internal turmoil. And while it's obviously what this chapter is about, this is not a Sam/Janet story. This is merely another dark little secret Sam has and isn't super proud of. 

Oh, and there's a reference that only certain people will get, so I must explain it. "Ballykissangel" is a British TV drama whose first three seasons were pretty much centered around a forbidden romance/blossoming friendship between a young, anti-clerical woman and the village priest. (Strangely enough, I know at least four people, not including myself, who are hooked on both Stargate and Ballykissangel. Funny, eh?) And "The Thornbirds" is a huge, amazing book that spans over 60 years about a woman and her forbidden romance with a priest. This'll all make sense when you read this chapter ;)

* * *

Chapter 2: Lay Your Head Down, Child

Much as Sam loved the girl, she was always somewhat glad when Cassie had a sleepover to go to. That meant that Sam and Janet could go out and not have to worry about being too drunk when they got back…especially because the next day was Sunday and they both had off. Sam had spent plenty of Sunday mornings sleeping off a hangover on her best friend's couch while Janet, who seemed impervious to such trivial things as headaches, flitted around trying to get Sam conscious before Cassie got home.

Janet leaned back in her chair, her dark auburn hair cascading down her shoulders as she rewarded the young men at the bar with a brief smile. The guys had been watching her and Sam ever since they came in, and Sam was ready to start chucking empty shot glasses at them.

Of course, Janet pointed out, that would probably only attract them more.

Sam knew she'd had too much to drink because she couldn't for the life of her remember the atomic number of carbon.

"You wanna head back?" Janet swung her head around, her hair sweeping around and over one shoulder. "The guys at the bar are driving me crazy and besides…you're going cross eyed."

Sam looked up, blinking. "What? Sure."

They left money on the table and Sam stumbled to her feet. A moment later Janet was gripping her upper arm in a vice like hold and steering her outside. They'd had more sense than to drive, and luckily the bar was two blocks from Janet's home.

Sam let out a breath and draped her arm around the shorter woman's shoulders. While her head started spinning when she got drunk, Janet's seemed to get more solid. At least on the outside. All they had to do was get talking and Janet would start giggling uncontrollably.

Somehow they made it back to the Fraiser household and through the front door before collapsing onto the soft carpeting of Janet's living room. Janet managed to lean against the couch, her arm resting on the seat cushions. Sam had fallen a little ways away and crawled over.

"So," Janet was flicking at errant dust specks with her slender fingers. Her hair was still draped over one shoulder and she didn't move when Sam reached out to run her fingers through it. "What's going on with you and the boys?"

"Same shit." You and the boys. That was funny. Sam let her head fall back. "If we're the front line team, I bet the backline teams get away with a helluva lot of shit."

"Lots," Janet agreed. "I've seen the results."

Sam was surprised Janet hadn't seen the results of what SG-1 got away with. They messed around far too much and never took any precautions. Sam voiced this aloud and the small doctor giggled that drunk Janet sort of giggle.

"That's why we give you those injections, honey, we know you're not careful."

"Don't ever let Cass be on a team with three guys…she's too good for that," Sam slurred, not really thinking about what she was saying.

Janet leaned forward, scooting a little closer. She tilted her head to one side, her hair falling like a dark waterfall down the left side of her head. She reached out, putting a hand on Sam's shoulder to steady herself. "Wasn't planning on it." She looked at Sam with dark eyes. "And don't think I don't know what you think you're getting away with."

"Whassat?"

Janet giggled again, but this time it was more of a deep-throated chuckle, her lips parting over perfect teeth. "Oh, I know each time you come home you're back into the good girl mode. But when you go that way through the gate," she made a vague gesture with one finger. "You re-define interfacing for Colonel O'Neill."

"Janet!" She pretended to sound hurt, but felt more smug than anything else. "You're right."

"About?"

"Bad girl, definitely." Janet was looking at her with something that could be interpreted as disbelief, but Sam couldn't be quite sure. Whatever logic pushed her to say what she said next was beyond her. "What? You need me to prove it to you?" It wouldn't be too hard, they'd some how ended up nose to nose.

"Seeing is believing." Janet's breath was warm against her lips. Sam could faintly smell the alcohol there, but that wasn't quite registering in her mind. "Why do you guys do it, Sam?"

The question floated lazily to Sam's ears. She could hear herself mutter in response something about fucking for fuck's sake, but she wasn't really concentrating on it. Instead she was concentrating on Janet's lips, which were grazing lightly over hers.

And there she was, a high school girl again, kissing a girl she knew on the cheerleading squad just to see what it was like. Nothing wrong with experimenting; it's what scientists did all the time. Besides, the girl had been hot. Everyone in the school had a crush on her. Everyone.

But shit, this _was_ Janet after all.

Sam pulled away and chewed her lip. They were drunk, and had already run through their list of gossip subjects.

"This have anything to do with your ex-husband?" Sam asked, squinting.

"This have anything to do with your ex-boyfriends?" Janet shot back.

Sam scowled. "I asked first."

"Colonel O'Neill too rough for you last time?" That distracted Sam. That distracted her right into knocking Janet flat on the carpet and lightly biting her neck. It felt good to be in control for once, but shit…this _was_ Janet, after all.

"Fuck." Sam sat back, only just realizing what it was she was doing. Or maybe the buzz was starting to wear off. Janet pulled herself back into a sitting position, raising her perfect eyebrows at Sam. "Fuck, I should go." Sam tried to stand up.

"Sam," Janet grabbed her wrist. "You're going to sleep on the couch and I'm going to sleep in my bed. Tomorrow you'll have a horrible hangover and I'll drive you home before Cassie gets back."

Sam nodded, then collapsed on the couch and promptly began snoring. Janet giggled a little, draping a blanket over her friend's form and lightly kissing her forehead before going upstairs to her room.

* * *

If Sam thought her hung-over Sunday was bad, then Monday back at work was even worse. She couldn't shake the feeling of intense embarrassment that was hanging over her because the only thing she could remember about Saturday night was kissing her best friend. That was not right. That was not what she had intended to do.

And it didn't help, either, that Janet was being Miss Unreadable. She was in her Dr. Fraiser mode and that meant that short of her asking out right, Sam wasn't getting any answers. She needed to drag her ass down to Janet's office and find out what the hell had possessed either of them to do that.

Part of her thought of it logically. She was addicted to the whole forbidden love thing. She'd read "The Thornbirds" several times over and actually owned the first three seasons of Ballykissangel on DVD. Tough, motorcycle driving, goa'uld ass kicking Sam Carter could be sucker-punched with a good romance.

Jack O'Neill was her forbidden romance. Regulations forbade it. Some people would have Jack court martialled if they ever found out what was going on, but General Hammond would just give Jack and Sam a slap on the wrist and probably reassign one of them. That turned out not to be enough. So there was Janet. Sam knew that if she got caught kissing another woman, no matter who was in charge, she'd be out of the air force fast as anything. And that risk was exciting.

But it didn't mean she really wanted to screw around with her best friend.

Janet was at her desk when Sam entered, closing the door behind her. The doctor set her pen down and the two women eyed each other as Sam took a seat.

"I'm sorry." Sam said finally.

Janet shook her head. "Don't apologize."

"I just…I really don't know what's going on with me lately."

Janet sighed, resting elbows on the table and chin in hands. Her brown eyes looked calculatingly at Sam, unreadable as ever. "Do you know what you want, Sam?"

"No, and that's my problem."

"Do you want to have sex with me? Because if that's what you want I can always make time for you."

Sam stared at her, trying to tell if she was mocking. But the one thing she _could_ read in Janet's expression was that she was being dead serious.

"No," she said after a long think. "No that's not what I want Janet. I'm not going to be a buddy fucker just because I can't get all my…" she searched for the right word. "all my…whatever...sexual energy, released."

"Good girl."

Sam eyed Janet suspiciously for a moment. "Wait…you didn't want…"

"Complete acts of selflessness, honey, I do them all the time." Janet grinned, making an odd sort of half salute with two fingers. "Don't worry about it. I was just offering to help you release some of that sexual energy. It's safer; unlike Colonel O'Neill, I can't get you pregnant."

"Give the whole Colonel thing a rest, already!" Sam sighed heavily. She gestured to herself and Janet. "So you're not awkward with this at all? Me and you?"

"I said don't worry about it," Janet's eyes had softened. "You may try to be independent all the time, Sam, but you need someone to love you. And you know what? I do. I love you a lot. Just…not like that."

"Remind me not to get so drunk next time."

Janet rolled her eyes. "I tried _this_ time."

"Oh…"

"Listen to your doctor more often." Janet glanced at her watch. "Don't you have a briefing to be at?"

"Yeah, but it's not…" Sam saw what time it was. "Yeah."

Janet smiled sweetly. "I'll see you later, Sam."

Sam returned the smile and stood up, happy to have at least a little closure. She left the infirmary and wandered up to the briefing room. She was still five minutes early and poured herself a cup of coffee before collapsing into her chair and closing her eyes.

"Headache, Carter?"

Sam opened one eye to peer at her CO. "No…just not ready to start this week yet."

"Hrmph. I don't think any of us are." Jack sat down and propped his feet up on the table until Hammond entered and scowled at him. Jack looked around. "Where's the big T?"

"Teal'c is at a meeting of the rebel Jaffa leaders," Hammond folded his hands in front of him. "He would like you three to join him this afternoon."

"Trouble in Jaffa land?" Jack asked, smirking.

"No, but some of the Jaffa leaders would like to meet you."

"See, Carter," Jack playfully slapped at her shoulder with the back of his hand. "We are celebrities. Celebrities that are outta this world!"

"Sir." Sam gave him as much of a reprimand as her position allowed and Jack shut up while Hammond explained what the procedures were. Go, meet, talk, make nice, come home. The usual. Maybe this week wouldn't be that bad after all.

* * *

A/N – And now that the email alerts are finally up and running we can all get on with our lives. Please review; they make me feel loved! 


	3. Counting Bodies Like Sheep

A/N – Just like to thank **7 league boots** for the wonderful reviews! I love how analytical they are :D Oh, and I've given up on the warnings. If you've made it this far you can probably handle whatever I could throw at you.

* * *

Chapter 3: Counting Bodies Like Sheep

"Welcome, kids, to the first annual Jaffa-con!" Jack shielded his eyes from the sun with one hand as he stared out at the groups of Jaffa wandering around. "With special guest appearances by Teal'c and Master Bra'tac."

Sam rolled her eyes at her CO's comments. She didn't really want to be here, and hoped they wouldn't have to spend the night. There were too many bodies, too many eyes, too much tension. Not her ideal way to start out the week.

Teal'c found them and led them to a large tent where the various Jaffa leaders were already sitting on cushions on the floor. They all seemed interested to meet the tau'ri heroes that Teal'c had been working with for the past few years, and SG-1 found themselves accepted as onlookers to the proceedings.

Jack lost interest first. Sam sniggered and almost felt sorry for him; this wasn't exactly her cup of tea either. Daniel seemed absorbed, soaking up the politics of Jaffa culture like a sponge. The colonel, however, seemed to be staring intently at a spot on the ceiling.

Sam reached out and lightly touched his arm, causing him to jump.

"Sorry," he said quickly to the several faces that turned towards him. With a backwards glance at Sam, he stood and slipped out of the tent. Sam exchanged an eye roll with Daniel then followed.

"Bored, sir?"

"I'm not a politician or an ambassador," Jack bitched as Sam fell into step with him. "So hell fuckin' yeah I'm bored."

Sam giggled. They headed away from the camp, seeking the shade of the forest a little ways away. Neither of them said anything until they came upon a small river and Sam sat down, stripping her shoes and socks off and sticking her feet in the cool water.

"Why is it everywhere we go is so hot?" Jack sat down next to her, pulling his cap off.

Sam shrugged, leaning back on her hands. They weren't due to report back to Hammond for another hour or so, and she thought she deserved a little relaxation time.

Jack reached out to lightly touch her hair, and Sam instinctively ducked away. Then she realized what he was doing and allowed him to run his fingers through her hair and gently massage her scalp. She sighed. This was how she liked starting her week. Nice and relaxing.

His hand jerked away suddenly and Sam opened her eyes. "What –"

"Shhh!" Jack put a finger to his lips and got slowly to his feet, raising his P90. Sam pulled her shoes on. As she was tying the laces she heard what was unmistakably the sound of a staff weapon being fired. And another, and another. Jack motioned for her to follow him and they crept slowly back to the camp.

What they found was sheer pandemonium. It seemed that some of the Jaffa decided they didn't want to be so rebellious after all and turned on the others. Jack tried to contact Daniel over the radio; no response.

"Let's hope they got back to the gate," Sam called over the din as she opened fire on a couple hostile Jaffa headed their way.

Seconds later her stomach dropped as a goa'uld death glider zoomed overhead, firing at random into the clearing. Dust and debris flew everywhere.

"CARTER!" Sam looked over in time to see Jack's horrified expression before there was another deafening explosion and everything went black.

* * *

Night. A cool wind blew through the clearing and the only noise Sam could hear was the distant flapping of some fabric. She opened her eyes to a shadowed world lit only by the single pale moon hanging in the sky.

Sam propped herself up on her elbows and looked around. She nearly vomited.

Bodies lay everywhere. Bodies with their heads blown off or chests caved in from staff weapon blasts. Sam's breath seemed to catch in her own chest as she looked around at the massacre; even in the dim moonlight she could see the blood that was splattered everywhere.

"Colonel?!" Her voice was high pitched and terrified. In sheer desperation she called, "Jack?!"

"Carter!" It was more of a cough than a word, but a moment later Sam felt the comforting sensation of his arm around her waist.

"What happened?"

"I don't know, I don't know," Jack held her to him, rocking her back and forth, more to comfort himself than anything. "I don't know what happened…"

"Daniel and Teal'c?"

"I don't know."

They clung to each other for a minute, giving their brains a chance to process what their eyes were seeing. Jack reluctantly let go of Sam as they got to their feet, a difficult maneuver as they both were injured. It took even longer to get back to the gate, but one glance showed the army of Jaffa guarding it.

Hopeless. Sam stared over the ridge at the Jaffa and felt such a sense of hopelessness that she very nearly started crying. It wasn't like her to feel that way, but for some reason she did. Then Jack's hand was on the back of her jacket, pulling her gently away.

"Come on, Carter," he said softly. "We need to find shelter…we'll try to get back in the morning." So much for not spending the night.

They went back into the woods, and a fifteen-minute walk found them at the base of a small rocky hill. Two house-sized boulders formed between them a decent cave, and Jack pulled himself and Sam into this, leaning against the rocky wall and holding Sam close.

"Tell me something interesting, Carter, I need to take my mind off things." His eyes were closed, his head leaning back against the rock.

"Interesting? I don't know anything interesting."

"Tell me something boring then. Tell me what your deepest secret is or what you had for lunch two weeks ago, I don't really give a fuck. Just say _something_…It's too quiet."

Sam had to agree with that. The night seemed empty; no insects chirped, no nighttime animals scuttled through the underbrush. There wasn't even a breeze to stir the trees. She wracked her brains for something to say. Only one thing came to mind, and it sounded more like a confession when she blurted it out. "I kissed Janet the other night."

"Doc Fraiser?" Even in the dark she could see his eyebrows raised.

"Yeah…"

"Wow." Jack leaned back once again. "Can't blame you, she's pretty hot." He misinterpreted Sam's look of surprise and said quickly, "But not my type. Not the way you are."

Sam shook her head, ignoring the last half of his comment. "Good thing too."

"Yeah, I don't need to be getting a hard-on anytime I go in for a physical." He grinned at Sam, who scowled. "Good thing you're not _that _type of doctor."

"Hrumph." Sam brought her head down on his shoulder with a little more force than was entirely necessary.

"So why'd you kiss her?"

"Just for the hell of it." Sam didn't really want to go into details. It was too complicate and Jack would probably end up taking it the wrong way. To her relief Jack seemed to understand her completely.

"I know how that is. 'Just for the hell of it' is how I survive half the time."

"I know," Sam said quietly. "And I won't flatter myself by thinking its only me."

"Only you?"

"That you…" Sam made a vague gesture with one hand.

"You can say it, Carter. That I screw, fuck, whatever."

"Right." Sam could feel her cheeks going red.

Jack sighed, resting his chin on the top of Sam's head."Could we be serious for a moment?"

"I never stopped."

"You ever wonder where we'll be when we're too old to be doing this anymore? Going off world, I mean."

"Old, alone and miserable."

Jack snorted. "Such the optimist, Carter."

"What?" Sam shifted so she was looking him in the face. "What else do you think we'll have?"

"Each other." It was as if something inside Jack had opened up. He never showed that much emotion; never. "Someday things will get better, Carter. Someday we won't have to…" his voice trailed off.

Sam leaned her forehead against his, wondering if this really was Jack talking. She liked this. If he really could be like this, Sam wished he would do it more often.

"I'm not saying you should wait for me." Jack continued. "Go with Fraiser. She can probably give you more."

"I don't…" Sam shook her head.

"You deserve more than this."

"So do you."

Jack shook his head, then wrapped his arms tightly around Sam. "Get some rest."

"I-"

"That's an order, Major!"

Sam let out a sigh and settled against Jack's chest. She closed her eyes, but couldn't seem to fall asleep. Jack sensed this, and after a few long minutes he began gently rocking Sam back and forth, one hand rubbing her back in a soothing, repetitive motion. As she finally drifted into a blissful sleep, she half expected him to start humming a lullaby.

* * *

The stench the next morning was almost unbearable. The sun had risen and so had the heat, roasting and rotting the bodies that were upwind of the cave that the two members of SG-1 were sheltered in. Sam awoke and promptly propelled herself away from Jack before dry retching a couple times; there was nothing in her stomach to heave up.

"Hey, easy there," the sound had awoken Jack and he was immediately at her side. "I know it stinks…lets get you down to the river…"

Jack was watching Sam splash cold water over her face when his radio crackled to life.

"_Colonel O'Neill? Major Carter? This is General Hammond, come in, please."_

"Reading you loud and clear, General."

"_Colonel, where the hell are you?!" _Hammond sounded angry in that worried grandpa sort of way.

"We couldn't get back to the gate, Sir," Jack explained, distracted briefly by the sight of Sam rolling up her pants to stick her feet in the water as well. "There were hostile Jaffa guarding it all night."

"_It's all clear now, Colonel, we just sent a UAV through."_

"Great, looks like we'll be dropping in soon then." Sam was now examining her injuries and trying to wash some of the blood away. Jack added quietly, "have a medical team ready. Carter's not looking too good."

"Neither are you." Sam shouted as Jack turned off the radio and walked down to the bank of the river. They glared defiantly at each other for a minute before Jack pulled Sam's arm over his shoulders to lend her support as they headed back to the gate.

Hammond had been right, luckily, and the gate was now unguarded. Jack began running to the DHD before any more Jaffa could show up, but Sam let out a yelp of protest and he slowed down.

It was a relief to step back into the gate room. Janet and her medical team helped Sam onto a gurney.

Daniel rushed over to Jack. "You stupid fuck!" he cried, throwing his arms around the surprised Colonel. "You stupid fu…don't do that again!"

"Danny!" Jack wrapped an arm around Daniel's shoulders for a moment before holding him away. "I'm ok, everything's ok!"

"And Sam?"

"Carter's a little roughed up, but she'll be fine."

Daniel's hand came to rest on Jack's shoulder. "We thought you two had been killed…"

The murmur of voices reached Sam's ears and she looked over. Jack and Daniel hugging. Daniel looking worried. Them glancing in her direction, then back at each other. Before she could get a chance to figure out what was going on, however, the medical team was wheeling her gurney out of the gateroom and into the hall.


	4. Swing to the Rhythm

A/N – Just wanted to spread the word about my new Stargate site, which can be accessed by clicking the homepage link on my profile page. So far all the site has is my fanfiction, but I'm working on it ;) Oh, and I wrote this chapter ALL IN ONE SITTING! Pretty impressive, no?

* * *

Chapter 4: Swing To the Rhythm

It felt good to dress up. When she got the chance Sam loved putting on makeup and high heels, tight fitting jeans and a low cut shirt; she just needed to feel uber-feminine sometimes. And going out with the team had its definite advantages too. Sam knew that if she walked into a place with three guys like Jack, Daniel and Teal'c, no one would think twice about hitting on her. And that was a nice change.

After everyone had recovered from the shockingly disastrous end to the meeting of the rebel Jaffa, Hammond ordered them all to take some down time. And 'down time' they took to mean 'go hit the bars'. Not that there was an overabundance of good ones.

Friday night found all four of them standing around a tall table, drinking beer and trying to hear one another over the noise in the bar.

Jack and Sam were standing shoulder to shoulder with their backs to the wall, and Jack, thinking he was being clever, was running one hand over Sam's ass. Neither could see the looks Daniel was shooting them, so caught up were they in each other.

This is what Sam needed, she knew. To be in a public place and be a public person. Not the Sam Carter who worked for a top secret military operation and couldn't have personal relationships with anyone she worked with, but rather, the Samantha Carter who could stand in a crowded bar and not feel awkward that her man was feeling up her ass.

It could have been the beer, or the smoke, or the fact that Jack looked so ruggedly sexy, but Sam unashamedly pushed against him, ignoring the look Teal'c shot her from under the brim of his hat.

They walked out into the parking lot later, around back where their vehicles were parked. Daniel was the only one not bouncing off the brick walls with pent up drunken energy.

"Come on, Danny-boy, lighten up!" Jack's arm was draped casually around Sam's shoulders, and she appeared to be supporting him for the most part. He wasn't really that drunk; he'd only had a couple of beers. But like Sam, Jack was feeling the need to get back to normal life. It was only natural, after all.

"And by lighten up do you mean perhaps feeling up Teal'c?" Daniel hissed bitterly.

Jack frowned. "Whatever floats yer boat." He chuckled at the shocked expression on the Jaffa's face. "Don't worry, T-man, Danny's…" he drew a line in the air. "Yeah, whatever that is."

"What would you know about it?"

Sam could have sworn _someone_ was trying to start a fight. They'd stopped walking now. Jack and Daniel were facing each other like a pair of rams ready to butt heads. Sam and Teal'c just stood off to the side, Sam hugging herself and shivering slightly in the cool evening breeze. She wished that she'd worn more than just her light sweater, or that Jack would stop being a dick and come put his arm around her. But he felt he had to exert his dominance over the pack, and that meant ragging on Daniel for a little bit more.

"Hey, do you _still_ have something shoved up your ass?" Jack wasn't lighthearted anymore. Any sign of tension and his inebriated mind cleared immediately. "Or are you just jealous for some reason?"

"O'Neill, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c's voice rang out, but neither Jack nor Daniel seemed to notice.

"You know, maybe I shouldn't have worried about you," Daniel said, taking a step closer.

Jack's chin tilted upwards defiantly. "So why did you?"

"Because I fucking care about you, Jack, what's wrong with that?"

"Oh, so it's Carter your jealous of, I see. You wish it was _you_ I was screwing."

"Sir." Sam hoped the use of his title would snap him out of it; not that it had ever worked that way before.

"Don't flatter yourself!" Daniel spat. "No offence, Sam, but I obviously have higher standards when it comes to men than you."

"Now that was uncalled for!" Jack was looking genuinely, full out angry. "Leave her out of this."

"Leave her out?! Leave her out?!" Daniel actually took a surprised step backwards. "_You_ didn't leave her out!" He regained his composure and Jack found an accusing finger pointed at him. "You wonder why things aren't the same, Jack? You wonder why we aren't as together as much? And I don't mean us personally, I mean the team. SG-1, heroes of the planet."

"Oh, enlighten me," Jack sneered.

"It's because of this! Because we're _not _a team anymore. We're jut me, Teal'c, and then you two." The archaeologist's voice dropped. "Whether you acknowledge it or not, its tearing us apart."

A long silence. Jack was just standing there dumbly and Sam seemed to find a new fascination with the potholes in the asphalt. From inside the bar loud music was playing, and there was the regular whoosh of cars passing on the busy street behind them. But none of them spoke; it was like the words were taking their time to find people's ears. It was Teal'c who eventually broke the silence.

"Come, Daniel Jackson." One large hand clamped on Daniel's shoulder, leading him back to the car.

Sam had to run to catch up with Jack as he went to his truck. Inside the cab tension was thick enough to be cut with a knife. Sam couldn't stand it; she wanted to scream, to blast the radio, to talk, to do anything to break the barrier Jack was slowly building up.

Finally she reached out and lightly touched Jack's arm. He shook her hand off. A few minutes later they were pulled up at a stop light and Jack was scowling at himself in the rearview mirror. Sam reached out again, setting her hand on Jack's leg. He actually reached down and pushed it away.

"You remember what space is, Carter? As in, _personal_ space?"

Sam had half a mind to open the door and get out right there, but instead she turned to look out the window, praying that her cheeks weren't actually as red as they felt. Now she was glad for the silence because it was better than the harsh tone in Jack's voice. She had the sort of clogged up feeling in her throat that usually preceded her crying. She wouldn't cry though, not tonight. It seemed like forever, but finally they pulled up outside of her house. Sam unbuckled her belt.

"I take it this means you're not coming in." She'd actually been looking forward to that. But Jack just gave her a look like she was crazy. Goddamn Daniel! Everything had been going so fine until he decided he needed to reassess everyone's moral behavior. Without saying goodnight Sam slammed the car door shut and stomped up the walkway to her front porch, banging her way through the hall and up to her bedroom, where she flopped down on the bed and screamed into the pillow.

The next morning wasn't any better. Sam felt restless when she awoke and didn't really know what to do with herself. After moving from chair to chair around the house, flipping through various magazines, she finally decided what she needed was fresh air.

Ten minutes later she was zooming down the street on her motorcycle, barely remembering the laws of physics let alone speed limits. Good thing it was the middle of a Monday and the streets were cleared. Without even thinking about it she found herself pulling up into Janet's driveway. She sat there for a long time, debating. This wasn't a good idea. Cassie was at school; it would be just her and Janet. In fact, this wasn't just a 'not good' idea, it was a terrible idea.

But then again, Janet would have already heard the sound of the engine.

Sam took off her helmet and walked up the front stairs. The door opened before she could even ring the bell and Janet's smiling face was looking up at her.

"I thought it was you," Janet said, letting Sam in and setting her helmet on the table in the front hall. They went into the kitchen where Sam perched at a stool on the counter and Janet made them both cups of coffee. "So what's up?"

"Ugh, man drama."

"As in boyfriend drama, or just men having drama?"

"Men having drama." Sam put her hands around the warm sides of her mug. "And by men, I mean the Colonel and Daniel."

"Oh, they're probably just having relationship issues." Janet grinned, leaning on the counter top across from Sam.

"Not funny." Sam took a sip of her coffee. "And that's not it, anyway. Surprisingly enough I think it was about me."

"Wouldn't surprise me." Janet took her hair out of its bun, combing it out with her fingers before putting it back up again. She seemed to be thinking a long moment, her eyes focused on the rainbows cast on the wall by the small crystal hanging in the window. "Jealousy is a disease that can strike anywhere."

"I don't think of Daniel like that."

"No one's saying you do. But he might think of you like that." Janet's eyes sparkled. "Or the colonel."

"Oh, pshaw."

"Seriously."

"Janet…this is really bothering me."

The humor left Janet's expression in a second. "Why, honey? What happened?"

"They were fighting last night…I don't know what brought it on, exactly, but we came out of the bar and Daniel just…" Sam sighed. "He really just kinda lost it. And then the Colonel was being short with me…"

"It twists the best of people," Janet murmured sadly. "Jealousy I mean. Look at my ex-husband."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "Jealousy?"

"Thought I was having an affair. He got paranoid to the point of being abusive; and I don't just mean hitting me and yelling."

"Oh god…"

"Yeah," Janet seemed to grow a little, emanating self-confidence. "You can blame him for the fact that I find the idea of men as anything but friends utterly repulsive."

"So what _do_ you find attractive?"

"Well, obviously if it's not men, what else do you think?"

Sam rested her elbows on the countertop, looking at Janet with an odd expression. "Do you find _me_ attractive?"

Janet snorted. "Oh, does someone need their ego stroked?" she crooned.

"That's not what I need stroked right now…" Sam muttered.

Janet reached over, playfully slapping at Sam's wrist. "Stop it! Yes, you do fit my general idea of an attractive woman. If you were gay I would probably date you, but honestly I don't know _what_ you are right now." She sighed. "Sam, we've been through this. You're not in love with me, you know that."

"Yeah, I know." Sam was looking back down at her now empty coffee mug "I just…you were right, Janet…I do need to be loved. And with Jack…" her voice trailed off.

"Jack?"

Sam looked up, her eyes full of emotion.

"You really love him, don't you?" Janet said gently.

"Colonel O'Neill is my commanding officer," was Sam's only reply.

"Yes, I know what Colonel O'Neill is," Janet looked at Sam sharply. "I'm asking about _Jack_."

"Same person."

"Really? Are Dr. Fraiser and Janet and Mom the same person? Are Major Carter and Samantha and Sam the same person?" Janet shook her head. "We aren't, each of us, only one person all the time, Sam. You know that."

"Yes, but Jack _is_ my commanding officer."

"But _do you love him_?"

Sam looked down. Yes she did, of course she did, how could she not? It was a ridiculous question, but even more ridiculous that she was having so much trouble answering it.


	5. Go To Sleep

Chapter 5: Go to Sleep

Sam stepped into the commissary and froze, just out of the way of the doorway. Jack was in there, sitting at a table and talking to some woman. Non-military, obviously, by the look of her clothes. They were talking, and suddenly Sam didn't feel like eating in the commissary.

She settled for a diet soda and bag of cheesy pretzels from the vending machines.

She shouldn't be upset. He was just talking to the woman. But like a nagging mosquito bite, the feeling wouldn't go away.

It didn't help over the next few days that any time she saw him walking down the halls, _that_ woman was always next to him with her low cut, fashionable shirts and perfect, long, curly brown hair. Sam didn't even know who she was or why she was there.

Both Daniel and Jack were still smarting from their encounter in the parking lot and hadn't spoken more than a couple words to each other. Daniel didn't seem mad at Sam, for some odd reason, but she didn't miss the gloating tone in his voice when he mentioned _that _woman.

"She works with the CIA, I heard." Daniel was sitting with Sam in one corner of the commissary. Sam had her back to the rest of the room, but Daniel was watching Jack intently.

"Good for her." Sam didn't want to talk about it.

"Good of Jack to have finally found someone."

Sam raised her eyes from the bowl of salad before her, the one that had too much ice burg lettuce and not enough tomatoes. "Daniel, you see this bowl of jell-o? There are plenty more up there so I would in no way regret dumping this one over your head."

Daniel was quite, but not before giving Sam a rather smug look.

* * *

Hammond knew something was wrong with his frontline team, so maybe that was why he sent them on the simplest recon mission possible. The planet had already been scouted out, and no intelligent life had been found. That was why SG-1 found themselves tramping through a lush forest, the sunlight doing nothing to dispel the sense of tension that wove like a web between them.

And the worse part about it was, the ruins they encountered had goa'uld writing on them. That meant Daniel needed Teal'c to help translate, so Sam was stuck with Jack for the whole "patrolling the perimeter" bit.

They walked all the way around the edge of the ruins in complete silence, but finally, Sam couldn't take it anymore.

"So who is she?"

"Excuse me?" Jack's gaze was cold.

"That woman you're always with. Who is she?"

"Just someone. What's it to you?"

It crossed Sam's mind that this didn't sound at all like Jack. Not the same man who had held her close after the massacre of the Jaffa, not the same man who'd made love to her when they were alone. This wasn't Jack; couldn't be Jack. And yet…

"Major? Is there a problem?" He was giving her a look of slight disgust now.

Sam shook her head. "Could we lose the military façade for just a minute here?"

Jack raised an eyebrow. For a second something flashed behind his eyes, something Sam had seen before. But then it was gone and the sarcasm and Colonel O'Neill were back again.

"Don't give me that look, you know what the problem is." Sam said quietly.

"Space, Carter. Personal space. Funny how you forget about things like that."

Sam bristled angrily. "Stop! We haven't even spoken in two weeks…"

"Yeah, and now you're acting like a jealous girlfriend."

"What changed? If I've done something, please tell me. But I just want to know what's changed between us."

"Nothings changed. There was nothing _to_ change." Jack turned and started walking away.

Sam knew that she had two choices; she could either start crying, or get extremely angry. The second choice was far more appealing. "Bastard." She growled.

Jack stopped and turned, glaring at her. "Watch it, _Major_. You're this close to a court martial right now!"

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try me, because I'm so not in the mood for this emotional crap you're throwing at me!" Jack pulled out his radio suddenly. "Danny, pack it up, we're heading back."

Sam blinked. "What are you doing?"

"Carter, just shut up and go dial the gate!" Giving her one last glare he turned and stomped off through the underbrush.

Several things crossed Sam's mind. Maybe he was infected by some new alien parasite. Maybe someone had said something to him; someone had found out. Maybe she was just having a horrible nightmare and would wake up to find Jack lying next to her and they would both have a good laugh at her crazy subconscious.

* * *

If it was a nightmare, it was only about to get worse. Hammond pulled her aside after the debriefing and told her to take a couple days off and cool down a bit.

"With all due respect, Sir, I don't really think-"

"Well, Colonel O'Neill thinks you do." Hammond was looking very serious. "He said you were speaking rather disrespectfully towards him off-world."

"Sir, I –"

Hammond cut her off, holding up one hand. "Major, I don't want to hear any explanations. I don't know what's been going on with you and Colonel O'Neill lately, if you've just had a fight or what. And frankly I don't care. But I think you _both_ need to take a few days to calm down. Dismissed, Major."

Calming down was the last thing on Sam's mind when she got home. First she tried to clean up the kitchen a little, but after she smashed a plate on the floor she gave up. She hurled another plate down. The rest of her dishes were saved by the sound of the doorbell ringing.

There stood Janet with some beer and a sympathetic look.

"What happened?" she asked as they sat cross-legged on the living room floor. Sam had downed two bottles already and was going for her third.

"Colonel Jack Fucking O'Neill can be such a self centered dick-head some times." Sam knew she was slurring her words. Before the beer she'd brought out the bottle of vodka that she kept in her cupboard for occasions just like this one.

And then there was Janet, able to hold her head straight no matter what. "Are we being jealous, much? What'd I say about that?"

"I'm not mad because he's seeing another woman."

"You're mad because…?"

"Because he's acting like I don't matter." Sam looked forlornly down at the bottle in her hands, secretly blaming it because it wasn't helping her feel any less miserable and unwanted. "Maybe he's right."

Janet rolled her eyes and tugged the bottle out of her hands. "That's it, you've had enough. Feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to help anything."

"What should I do, then?" Sam was back to angry again.

"First, I think you need a hug." So Janet _wasn't_ completely impervious to the effects of alcohol after all. She held out her arms and Sam crawled over, resting her head on her friend's shoulder. Janet smoothed her hair down. "Second, you need to get it through that thick skull of yours that you're not unwanted. Men are just stupid, and fact of the matter is, Colonel O'Neill is a man."

"Maybe I should give up on them."

Janet was leaning back against the couch and Sam's head had slid a little so that it wasn't exactly resting on Janet's shoulder anymore.

"Don't say things like that," Janet murmured in a sort of sing-song reprimand. "You love him."

"Do not."

"Do so…what're you doing?" Janet's voice was still quiet. Sam had brought one finger up and was toying with one of the small mother of pearl buttons on Janet's blouse.

"Nothing." Sam was actually undoing the buttons now; slowly, starting at the top.

"Honey…" There was a touch of resistance in Janet's voice that Sam ignored. She concentrated instead on what Janet had called her.

Who was she kidding? Janet always called her that. It didn't mean anything.

The horrible thing was, Sam really didn't care. She found she didn't care about anything, really except the soft skin that was so close to her face. Wrapping her arms around Janet's waist she nuzzled aside the fabric of her shirt to place a soft kiss against the curve of one breast.

Janet gasped, half giving in, half denying as Sam moved to nibble lightly at her collarbone. As she moved them both to the floor Sam realized with a sort of perverted pleasure that she was so much stronger than Janet. Not that the doctor was putting up much resistance, even as their lips came crashing together.

As she all but ripped Janet's shirt the rest of the way off, half of Sam wondered if she'd gotten the cave-man disease again. Her mind was rushing around, a swirl of emotions and urges that didn't seem remotely human.

* * *

Jack looked up as the door to the bar opened. It was Daniel, and he walked over to the table where Jack was sitting with two beers. Daniel stood over him for a moment.

"Sit." Jack waved at the empty seat across from him. "You did call this meeting, after all."

"Yeah," Daniel sat down and took the beer that was offered to him. "I need to talk to you."

"If it saves you any trouble, I'm not gay."

Daniel stared at him. "Hate to burst your bubble, Jack, but not everyone in the world is madly in love with you."

"Huh."

"But I'll tell you someone who is madly in love with you."

"So help me god if you say its one of your co-workers' sister's best friend…"

"Sam."

Jack raised his eyebrows. "You are so fickle. I should punch you."

"I'm sorry I was such a prick, Jack." Daniel said with a heavy sigh and eye roll. "But I had my reasons."

"Such as?"

"Sam is like my sister. I just hated seeing her be the fuck buddy of the group just because she's the girl."

Jack snorted. "Danny, 's far as I know I was the only one who ever screwed her."

"That's because Teal'c and I both respect her."

"You accusing me of not respecting her? Because I do. Me having sex with her had nothing to do with a lack of respect."

"Oh no." Daniel's eyes narrowed slightly. "That was practically hero worship compared to what you're doing to her now."

"I just can't do anything right by you, can I? You don't like what I was doing with Carter before, you don't like what I'm doing with her now."

"Ok…I'll try to be humble here. The reason I was angry before was because I didn't understand what was happening."

Jack raised his glass sarcastically. "Cheers."

"I didn't understand how much Sam actually loves you."

Something stung in the vicinity of Jack's heart. He swallowed the last of his beer.

"She's my subordinate officer, Danny." Jack said quietly. "You saw what happened back there on the planet. That's the reason they have frat regs. If there had been Jaffa on that planet me and her would have been endangering the safety of the whole team."

"And you two were fighting why…? Because she saw you with the other woman?"

"Yeah."

"And why were you with that other woman?"

Silence. "Because I was trying to show myself that I didn't need Carter."

"But you love her, don't you? You do love Sam?"

Jack looked down at his glass, then slowly back up at Daniel.

* * *

The small body in her arms was trembling.

Sam opened her eyes. Sometime during the course of whatever it was that had happened, they'd stumbled into Sam's bedroom. Now they lay on the bed, beneath the covers, and Sam had her arms around Janet.

And then the guilt set in. Ten times worse than the anger Sam had felt earlier towards Jack.

"Janet?"

Janet rolled over, forcing her body to stop shaking. "Sam." She looked at Sam for a long moment then said by way of explanation, "You scare me sometimes."

"God…" Sam sat up, knees drawn to her chest, face in her hands. "Janet…what did I do?!"

Janet sat up as well, putting a hand on Sam's back. She shook her head.

Sam looked up at her, eyes wide. "God…I'm sorry…" She couldn't stand it anymore, and suddenly was out of the bed, grabbing her clothes and pulling them back on.

"Sam-!"

But she was already in the hall. Janet was her friend…her _friend_. And she'd just…Sam couldn't even think it. In her own home, too.

"Sam!"

She stopped and turned. Janet was standing there in one of Sam's bathrobes, which was far too long on her.

"Sam, don't you dare run away." She was giving Sam the Dr. Fraiser look of doom and pointed towards the kitchen. Hanging her head, Sam followed.

Sitting at the table, Sam found it impossible to look Janet in the eye. A sick feeling of shame was growing in her stomach as it hit her again just what she'd done.

"You didn't want that…did you?" She knew the answer, but had to ask.

"No." It was barely more than a whisper.

"Janet," Sam half rose. "You should go…I have…I have stuff to do..."

"Like what?" Janet's voice was light.

"Like going to tell Hammond I'm resigning."

"Uhh!" The noise of exasperation was accompanied by Janet folding her arms over her chest. "You've saved the world. You think he's just going to let you resign?"

"Janet!" Sam was embarrassed to hear her voice squeak. "I just…just…" the word wouldn't come, so she tried something else. "I just forced you to have sex with me! I put the safety of my team in danger on our last mission-"

"It was a recon mission, Sam. No one was in danger."

"-For my own personal feelings!"

"Sam." Janet was back to speaking rationally again. Sam admired her so much for that. "If there had been danger, you wouldn't have acted out like that. And you _did not_ just force me to have sex with you."

"But you didn't want…"

"Doesn't mean you forced me. Trust me," Janet gave her a little sad smile. "Big as you are, you wouldn't have been able to force me."

Sam looked at her, finally, and felt a horrible twisting sensation in her gut. Dear god, what had she done?

"You're probably feeling a lot worse about this than I am." Janet murmured. "Doing something like this is similar to getting drunk…great way to release your feelings, but you always feel horrible about it the next morning."

"You weren't supposed to let me get drunk."

A teasing grin flashed across the doctor's face. "What if I wanted to?" Sam blinked, and Janet shook her head. "I suppose this is partially my fault. In my own sick little way."

_I'm tearing everyone apart._ Sam thought dismally, closing her eyes.

"Sam." Janet's voice floated to her as if from far away. "We all have our dark sides, we all have things we hide…things that people on the outside never see. But those are the things that make us who we are. But this…" she sighed. "This isn't good for you, Sam. You need to talk to him."

"I tried."

"You need to try harder." Janet reached across the table and tilted Sam's chin up, adding teasingly. "And worst comes to worst, there's always me."


	6. A Perfect Circle

A/N – Ooh, it's the last chapter!!! I just wanted to thank my dedicated readers and reviewers for making this writing experience wonderful. I'm glad you all enjoyed the story so much! I'm considering doing another one like this, possibly with Daniel. Haven't yet decided what it's going to be called, but probably like "far side of the sun". So keep your eyes open for that one if you liked this story! Thanks again :D

* * *

Chapter 6: A Perfect Circle

The first thing General Hammond noticed upon entering the briefing room was that all four members of SG-1 seemed lost in their own little worlds. Usually they were talking and Colonel O'Neill was making a fool out of himself, but today they were silent. And this worried the General. This wasn't normal. But he would try anyway.

"Dr. Jackson, what's your preliminary report on the images retrieved by the MALP?"

Daniel opened the folder before him and began explaining his theories of the ruins on PX9-350. Teal'c appeared attentive, but something still was off. Hammond turned and noticed that both Sam and Jack were still off in la-la land. As Hammond watched, Jack shot Sam a look out of the corner of his eye, but she was ignoring him. Then she did look; their eyes met, and they both quickly looked away, scowling.

Hammond slapped his hand down on the table. Everyone looked at him. Sam's cheeks flushed slightly.

"Colonel O'Neill."

Jack raised his eyebrows. "Sir?"

"Do you have a problem with Major Carter?" Hammond sat back in his chair, regarding Sam and Jack with narrowed eyes.

Jack said nothing, looking down at the table.

"Major Carter, do you have a problem with Colonel O'Neill?"

Sam, also, said nothing. Daniel sighed heavily and Teal'c raised one eyebrow.

Hammond pointed at Sam and Jack as he got to his feet. "You two, in my office right now."

The door slammed shut behind them, and Hammond rounded on his two top officers.

"Will one of you _please_ explain what the hell is going on here?!"

"Personal issues, sir." Jack replied quietly, clasping his hands behind his back.

"Personal issues?" Hammond leaned forward, resting his hands on the desk. "Does this mean its time to reassign one of you to another team?"

Sam and Jack actually made eye contact for a full two seconds before looking back at General Hammond. "No, sir." Jack said quietly.

"Well," Hammond glanced at his watch. "Then you've got half an hour to work out whatever issues you have, or else only _one_ of you will be accompanying Teal'c and Dr. Jackson through the gate." He strode over to the door and opened it. "Thirty minutes!" The door shut behind him.

"So. Carter." Jack sat down in one of the chairs, looking up at Sam. "Looks like we're being forced to play nice, now, doesn't it?"

"We _do_ need to talk." Sam pointed out, sitting down as well.

"You go first."

Sam stared at him.

"Fine. You want the honest to god truth, Carter?"

She nodded. "That might help things."

"I enjoy having sex with you. BUT…" Jack held up one finger as Sam made an outraged noise. "But, that's not all I like about you. It's not just about the sex….It's about all those other damn clichés. You're beautiful and intelligent and….and…" he seemed to be searching for something else to say. "And frustratingly bisexual."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sam wrinkled her nose, wondering if Jack had finally lost it.

One silver eyebrow arched menacingly at Sam. "It means I saw Fraiser's car parked outside your house at two in the morning the other day."

"What were _you_ doing at my house at two in the morning?" Sam swallowed down the thick lump that had formed in her throat. She'd seriously been trying to forget that.

"That's beside the point," Jack waved his hand dismissively in the air. "All I'm saying is…hey, you ok?" For Sam suddenly had developed a rather choked expression on her face. Jack narrowed his eyes, leaning forward. "What happened that night?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing…right. Just like nothing happened between us."

Sam was suddenly angry. "It's none of your business, anyway, what I do with Janet."

"Hey, hey!" Jack held up his hands defensively. "I just thought you wanted us to be honest with each other. But honestly, if you want her, I'm not going to stop you. I'd just like to know so I can stop wasting my time being in love with you."

"I don't….you what?"

Jack's eyes had softened slightly. His deep brown eyes, locking on to Sam's blue ones. But he couldn't seem to repeat himself. "You heard me."

Hammond stuck his head in. "You two done in here yet?"

Jack and Sam looked at each other and nodded. Hammond seemed satisfied and told them to come out and finish the briefing. As Jack stood up, he felt Sam's hand brush against his.

"You're not wasting your time." She whispered, smiling faintly.

* * *

Stepping out of the gate, Jack made a broad sweeping gesture. "Over here we have some positively lovely ruins. _And_, campers, if you look behind us, _gasp_, more ruins! Oh Danny's gonna have a field day with this one…" He started down the stairs.

Daniel and Sam exchanged a look. Yep, things were going back to normal.

Or at least, as normal as things ever get. Daniel somehow got himself stuck in a pit, and they had forgotten to bring rope, so Sam was forced to jerry-rig some from the vines growing in the forest. After that adventure Jack was still in a mischievous mood, so he took one of Daniel's notebooks. For an hour Sam and Teal'c stood watching while their teammates chased each other around the ruins, Daniel screaming and Jack laughing his head off.

Finally they headed home, all in good spirits and happy that things were back to the way they should be.

They were walking to the locker rooms, however, when Jack suddenly put one arm out, stopping Sam in her tracks.

"What –" she began to ask, but Jack held a finger to his lips.

He waited until Daniel and Teal'c had rounded the corner, still talking, and there was no one else in sight. Then he opened a door to their right, pulling Sam into the darkened storage closet, and shutting the door.

"What are you doing, _sir_?" Sam giggled.

"Shhh." Jack put his hands on either side of her face, pressing his lips to hers in a passionate kiss.

As the kiss deepened Jack's hands found their way to the front of Sam's BDU's, unzipping, unbuttoning and pushing the offending pieces of clothing away. At fist Sam started to pull away, then Jack's lips pressed more urgently against hers and she found herself reaching for the zipper of his vest as well.

As Jack's lips skimmed over the smooth skin of Sam's torso, he remembered – in some far off region of his brain – that they were supposed to be somewhere soon. But that was trivial. Here he was, tucked away in a storage closet with Sam Carter. He chuckled as his teeth grazed the curve of one breast; maybe scientists weren't that bad after all.

Moving to kiss Sam's neck, he pulled her body close to his. Sam sighed contentedly; it was a rare time that she actually got to feel his bare skin against hers, feel his heart beating next to her own, feel his…

"Sorry, flyboy," Sam murmured, reaching down to touch him teasingly. "Pants are staying on."

Jack groaned. "You're evil." He grabbed her wrist, bringing her hand up so he could nibble lightly on the tips of her fingers.

"I'm also not fucking you or anyone else," Sam paused to kiss him then let out a giggle. "…In a storage closet."

"Not even Fraiser?" Jack grinned wickedly at her, and Sam scowled, stepping back and folding her arms over her chest. Jack pouted. "Oh, lighten up…"

"I'm astounded that you would even _suggest_ that Janet and I would have sex in a storage closet!" Sam hissed, and it took Jack a second to realize she was joking. "We've got more class than that." She smirked. "So it's usually her office."

Jack rolled his eyes, pushing Sam back against the wall and grabbing her wrists, pinning her arms down. He dipped his head down to place another searing kiss on her lips. He was just trailing kisses down to her collarbone when Sam made a soft noise of protest in her throat.

"Jack…"

He looked up, disappointed. "Hmmm?"

"What time is it?" Sam's eyes were wide.

Reluctantly Jack released her wrist so she could look at her watch. He was thinking how sexy she looked in nothing but a watch and dog tags when Sam pushed him aside, grabbing for her clothing.

"What's wrong?!" Jack watched her with a slight frown.

"We've got debriefing in five minutes!" Sam replied, pulling her bra and t-shirt back on then draping the rest over one arm. She looked down at Jack, raising her eyebrows. "And you're gonna have to be late, unless you want to answer some awkward questions."

Jack waved his hand. "Pah, I'm usually late anyway." He reached out to grab Sam's arm as she turned to leave. Looking sincerely into her eyes, he asked. "Are we OK now?"

"We're getting there." Sam grinned. "I might make you buy me dinner before it's perfectly back to being ok."

Jack chuckled, playfully slapping her on the butt. "Get to the debriefing, Major."

"Yes, sir!" Sam gave Jack a mock salute before opening the door a crack and sticking her head out into the hall. When she was sure no one was watching, she slipped out of the closet.

Jack showing up late to the debriefing proved to be a good thing, as it convinced Hammond that everything was all right once again. He told them all to take a day off, and as usual, the team went out.

"I've got this one," Jack said as they sat around a table at a bar and grill. "I promised Carter I'd buy her dinner."

Daniel gave Jack an odd look, but shook his head. "Whatever. It's free food, I don't care why I'm getting it."

"I'm pleased to see that everyone has returned to good spirits." Teal'c said, looking a little less solemn than he had been the past couple days.

Jack smiled. "Me too, T man, me too."

On the way out Jack drapped his arms affectionately around both Sam and Daniel's shoulders. He tried valiantly to sound serious, but it still came out sounding a little drunk. "You know I do care about _all_ of you, right?"

"Sure." Daniel grinned, then nudged Jack in the ribs with his elbow. "You gonna tell her?"

Sam peered around Jack. "Tell me what?"

"Ahh…Carter. Come." Putting his hands on her shoulders, Jack steered Sam away from the other two teammates.

Sam put her hands on her hips. "What now?"

"I love you."

Birds were singing in the trees behind the restaurant, a few last songs before the sun went down. A light breeze rose, blowing strands of Sam's hair across her face. Looking up she could see the sky behind Jack was streaked with pastel colors. The moon was already out, a shining silver disk in the sunset.

She reached up to put her hands on either side of Jack's face. "I love you too."

"And, Sam…" Jack took a step forward, slipping his arms around her waist. "I don't want to screw this up again. I swear I'll do whatever it takes to make things right. To make things work…even if it means retiring and moving to another country. Because you mean more to me than the Stargate program or anything."

Sam couldn't do anything but smile and lean in to kiss him gently.

"How 'bout now?" Jack whispered, pulling away only a centimeter. "Is everything OK now?"

Her eyes sparkled. "Yeah. Everything's perfect."

And the world started turning again.


End file.
